THE HOUSE BUNNY [PG-13]
review by Padraic Maroney

Ageism and beauty are everywhere we look. Whether it’s at the local bar on a Friday or Saturday night or at the gym during your workout after a long day at the office, we are always being judged by how pretty and young we look — mainly because in our culture, youth equals beauty. But the bubbly Shelley (Anna Faris) finds out that for a Playboy Bunny, being 27 years old is equal to being 59 in the real world, and no one wants to see someone who is that old hanging around the Mansion. So goes the concept for The House Bunny.

Funny girl Anna Faris came up the story on her own and tapped the writers of Legally Blonde. The movie follows Shelley, who dreams of nothing more than being a Playboy centerfold, but is instead kicked out of the Mansion on her 27th birthday. While wandering, she stumbles upon the Mother-less Zeta Alpha Zeta sorority, which is quite possibly the most pitiful ever.

The sorority’s de facto leader is a chronically uncool virgin ringleader. Various sisters are stuck in a backbrace, painfully shy, pregnant, and who can forget the one who is barely even fully human (when walking she bends over and walks kind of like a monkey). This group of misfits is a collection of girls so bizarre that you wonder how some of these girls have even made it through life up until this point.

Shelley is able to take the seven sisters and transform them from being complete social rejects and make them into some of the most popular girls in school (much like Amanda Bynes did with the seven male dorks in the very similar Sydney White). And remember, this film is produced by Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison productions before you try to bring rational thoughts into the film.

Screenwriters Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith take an interesting and promising premise and make it only mildly amusing, ultimately leaving it hollow and cliché-riddled. While many viewers might not expect to find anything celebrating the magazine with the most artificially enhanced beings on the planet to have any substance, there is nothing that really rings true in the film. Even when dealing with the various romances that crop up here, the actors seem so mismatched and merely going through the motions that it’s hard to see any kind of future ending in the coveted happily ever after.

The whole story of the nerds being picked on by the popular kids is something that isn’t new. But making the nerds become the popular kids before the major climax is something that isn’t often done, mainly because it’s not believable when it’s not earned. Unfortunately, not enough is done to bring life to the story, as everything that happens in the film is treated as just another segue to the next, with none that feel more important than another.

The thing that makes the film so appealing is how well Faris’s personality and screen persona transcend an otherwise mundane film. Surrounded with mostly unknown actresses (including Demi Moore’s daughter, Rumer Willis), none of her supporting players — and they are no more than supporting players here — have the chutzpah to add much to the film beyond what is merely written on the page.

With The House Bunny, Anna Faris has officially cornered the market on loveable bimbos. Her work in the Scary Movie franchise seems to have just been practice to lead up to her coming out performance as the Queen Bimbo. What makes her the queen is that she plays the role with such ease that it appears as if to be second nature for the actress. No matter what is happening, the characters always appear to be wholesome and good, albeit the most inept women in the world.

While the movie won’t make anyone a household name on its own, it will at least show that Faris has the screen presence to anchor a film. Maybe one of these days the underrated actress will be given the chance to do it with material that is going to get her the recognition she deserves (without having to put on a bikini and camp it up).•••

Padraic Maroney is a regular contributor to the national network EDGE.