The Earth of the year 2700 has been completely abandoned by humanity, our inescapable drive for excess having wasted away the planet’s natural resources to the point where we literally abandon our Good Ship Earth. In our absence, we leave the regrettable and monumental job of trash pickup to a series of robots called WALL•E (Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class). After 700 years of thankless work, there is only one functional WALL•E robot left, and the adorable bundle of gyros and motors is sure to be ironically remembered as the year’s most enchanting, emotive protagonist from the big screen. It takes all of ten minutes to realize that Pixar has done it again: they’ve invented a perfectly charming, wonderful, imaginative motion picture that will delight children and adults alike. And this time, they have delivered their best ever.
With credible actors like Morgan Freeman, Angelina Jolie, James McAvoy, and rap crossover Common, the words should have flown from the pages of Mark Millar’s and J.G. Jones’s comic book series. On paper, the action sequences are kept moving at a blurrily fast pace, and readers typically comment, “This would make a great movie.” Additionally, the director of this adaptation, many-hatted Russian wonder Timur Bekmambetov, previously helmed the acclaimed Night Watch series, which pulled off pairing a comic book sensibility, a dark fantasy world and gonzo action. Here in Wanted, though, none of the pedigreed pieces ever quite gel, leaving a disjointed film that isn’t fun for anyone to sit through.
There are quite a few ’80s fans among us here, which is why we were so joyful when we discovered the video for Providence, RI-based rock band No More Kings’ song, “Sweep The Leg,” written by Pete Mitchell and Neil Robins. The video, directed by William Zabka, is a total salute to the 1984 teen martial arts drama, The Karate Kid. The movie starred a dreamy post-Pony Boy Ralph Macchio as Daniel LaRusso, the new kid in Reseda, California who runs afoul of a local bully named Johnny Lawrence, befriends building super Mr. Miyagi (the late Pat Morita) from whom he learns to kick Johnny’s mewly butt (and score with Elisabeth Shue). Zabka actually played Johnny in the movie, and has a great sense of humor by reprising his role in the video as both a cartoonish version of himself and his character from the movie. The video also features a whole s-load of cameos from The Karate Kid, and is a hilarious distraction on this warm summer Hump Day.
For anyone who takes The Karate Kid as more than a distraction should visit Zabka’s home site at www.BillyZabka.com. There is a great fan rant by Jason Johantges on the site that suggests that it is Daniel — not Johnny — who is the villain of the story. It’s inspired stuff, like the video (which you can watch below). –Elizabeth Meyer
We’ve seen pretty much every kind of secret agent spy movie that there is to see. From James Bond to Austin Powers, there isn’t anything new that can be thrown at audiences. That is where Get Smart comes in.
Based on of the classic television show of the same name created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry, “Get Smart” seeks not to just merely coexist with the series. Rather, the film is looking to be a modern update and with it a lot of things are updated from what television fans might remember.
In his Austin Powers movies, Mike Myers shows that it’s possible to put one’s tongue in one’s cheek and add chocolate sauce for a dumb, and yet thrillingly inventive, confection: he mocks the suave super-spy genre by sticking so close to its absurd conventions that the rules of the game twist into a knot of high-grade absurdity.
Austin Powers worked so well that Myers can hardly be faulted for looking to apply the same method to something else. But what? In The Love Guru, the target seems to be the trendy, shallow obsession with Eastern religion, and the equally shallow Western bromides that practitioners of spiritual self-help rely on. Myers riffs endlessly on this in the character of Guru Pitka, an American raised in India by Ben Kingsley, cleverly disguised, by dint of crossed eyes and saffron robes, as Guru Tugginmypudha.
Because we define ourselves according to certain externals, loss can change our perceptions of who we are. The question then is how, or whether, we redefine who we are; a tricky business, because in times of grief or distress, it’s easy to pull back and forsake the best things about what we once enjoyed.
In writer-director Thomas McCarthy’s finely drawn dramatic comedy The Visitor, the subject is a loss of a sense of possibility, and a corresponding loss of the willingness to celebrate liberty, either nationally or personally. In the person of Walter Vale (Richard Jenkins), a college professor of economics, we meet a man deeply entrenched in what might be shock, or maybe grief; he walks through his days like a zombie, barely does any work, recycles his old syllabi, and, after a half-hearted stab at learning the piano, dismisses his instructor rather than hear about how his fingers must always curve so as to make a little tunnel for an imaginary train to pass through.
Call it “Hulk 2.0.” After Ang Lee’s flawed but unfairly maligned 2003 screen version of the smashingly popular comic book, Hulk, audiences quickly hungered for a follow-up that delivered more of what they had come to love about the character and its Big Green Mythos, namely the thoughtful exploration of duality, but mostly the cathartic release that is the philosophy, “HULK SMASH!” The Incredible Hulk — more of a “reboot” than a sequel, in that it pretends its predecessor never existed — is that movie.
Anyone who grew up with the comic book — or even caught a smattering of the Bill Bixby TV version that ran from 1978-82 — knows the basic story. Scientist Dr. Bruce (David) Banner, convinced that his research into extending human strength and endurance with gamma radiation was so sound as to test it on himself, unintentionally becomes a green, raging, 10-feet-tall-and-bulletproof monster whenever he gets overexcited. “Mr. McGee,” Mr. Eddie’s Father would say all cool-like, “don’t make me angry — you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”
With each release M. Night Shyamalan confirms his status as a one-hit wonder. That hit, The Sixth Sense, was a wonder (and obviously a fluke), but what has he done for us lately? After all, that was nearly a decade ago in 1999. Sadly, his recent output is the stupefyingly silly Lady In The Water, and, now, the stupefyingly dull The Happening.
The inspiration for his latest exercise in suspense is Hitchcock’s The Birds: an unknown natural force wreaks havoc on humanity, in this case something in the air that causes individuals to do something nasty. (This, I suppose, is Shyamalan’s hook, so I won’t reveal it here; but suffice to say it is revealed in the opening 10-minutes in a graphic enough fashion to earn the film an R-rating.)
On behalf of Stooges fans everywhere (including the three documented females who don’t just pretend to like them for the sake of keeping the peace with their men), we thank you. The fact that you are finally giving us what we really want — all 190 “Three Stooges” shorts released from 1934 to 1959 and released chronologically — is most gracious of you. This second set is nearly poifect (and we would gladly have paid twice the $24.98 SRP, you numbskulls).
Of course, we cursed you for years for releasing themed collections with no more than a half dozen shorts on a disc, making us re-buy the same collections we had paid nearly the same price for on VHS. What knuckleheads you took us for, all while moidering our video budgets. And while mixing Curly and Shemp shorts, too.
Soitenly, we forgive you. Last year, when you released the first volume of all the Stooges shorts from 1934-1936, we were all “Woo-woo-woo-woo!” Still, we were a little hesitant to start clearing space on our DVD shelves, for fear of looking like imbeciles. We remember back to 2002 when you released the entire first season of “The Larry Sanders Show,” and then did nothing with the other five (and that “Best Of” set doesn’t count, ya wise guys).
We don’t care that there are no special features on the 2-disc set, either. Under better soicumstances, sure, we would have liked some behind-the-scenes footage. Maybe you can license that nifty A&E “Biography” episode on the Men In Black-And-Blue? Or make a program based on One Fine Stooge, Stephen Cox’s and Jim Terry’s book on Larry Fine? Or call in a favor over at Disney and get them to loan you that great Stooges TV movie biopic from 2000 that shows up on cable every once in a while.
Lack of supplemental goodness notwithstanding, this is The Three Stooges at their best (but you guys know that ’cause you own ‘em). Jerome “Curly” Howard was still relatively healthy (despite all the cheese he ate), so he, brother Moe and longtime third Larry were still able to make it really seem like they were actually knocking the bag out of each other. Man, looking over the contents, there are 24 prime shorts here, including Grips, Grunts and Groans, Healthy, Wealthy and Dumb and perhaps the most fun one of them all, Violent Is The Word For Curly (in which we’ll forever be “Swinging The Alphabet”). Repeat after us… “B-A-bay, B-E-bee, B-I-bicky-bi, B-O bo, bicky-bi bo, B-U bu, bicky bi bo bu.”
Anyway, please feel free to release another volume this year. We’ll be ready and waiting to nyuk-nyuk-nyuk it up again, especially in that Volume 3 will contain possibly the best short of their whole 25-year run, 1940’s spoof You Nazty Spy! (which predated Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator by nearly a year).
Sincerely, Every Living Person With A Y-Chromosome (And Those Three Girls)
SQUARE PEG NO MORE
Talking with ‘Sex And The City’ star Sarah Jessica Parker interview by Fred Topel
Sex and the City: The Movie has had millions of fans metaphorically lining up for tickets since the TV series ended. Still, filmmakers want more than just their core fans to enjoy the film. Star and producer Sarah Jessica Parker has been pleased that viewers from all walks of life have complimented her during her promotional tour for the film.
“I’ve spoken to a number of people over the last 48 hours who confessed that they really weren’t fans of the show, or just didn’t really spend their time watching it, and that they were surprised that they could be drawn in and feel certain things,” said Parker. “These were straight men, straight women, gay men, and all sorts of people in-between.”
The film does include many high fashion Easter eggs for the loyal fans. When Carrie Bradshaw goes through her closet, the filmmakers had to secure all the archived ensembles from the show’s six year run. Other items were harder to secure.
WALL•E [G]
WANTED
There are quite a few ’80s fans among us here, which is why we were so joyful when we discovered the video for Providence, RI-based rock band No More Kings’ song, 
GET SMART
THE LOVE GURU
THE VISITOR
THE INCREDIBLE HULK
THE THREE STOOGES COLLECTION VOL. 2: 1937-1939
Soitenly, we forgive you. Last year, when you released the first volume of all the Stooges shorts from 1934-1936, we were all “Woo-woo-woo-woo!” Still, we were a little hesitant to start clearing space on our DVD shelves, for fear of looking like imbeciles. We remember back to 2002 when you released the entire first season of “The Larry Sanders Show,” and then did nothing with the other five (and that “Best Of” set doesn’t count, ya wise guys).