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21 - THE SIMPSONS MOVIE
(released December 11)
After 18 seasons and 400 episodes, the biggest question regarding The Simpsons Movie is not, “How could they possibly screw this up?” but instead, “Why did it take so long?” While a movie eight years ago — with Springfield in the throes of Y2K hysteria, perhaps — would have been much better timing for the show and for the times, the moment that all “Simpsons” fans have been waiting for has finally come, and thankfully, they didn’t screw it up. And really, how could they?
With a script worked on by nearly every major series player in the last two decades, the movie version of the longest running sitcom ever (animated or otherwise) is a love letter to fans. While most love letters gush and sometimes get off track, this one, for the most part, stays on point. Not a minute passes without a solid laugh, and the writers take advantage of the PG-13 rating without getting vulgar like “Family Guy” (save for one precious visual gag). As keenly self-aware as a movie has ever been, it balances solidly an honest-to-goodness story (regarding Homer’s accidental sullying of Springfield with pollution) with great, refined characterizations by Dan Castellaneta (Homer), Julie Kavner (Marge), Nancy Cartwright (Bart) and a smart sampling of fan favorites, too.
From the start, though, when Ralph Wiggum stands nestled in the zero of the 20th Century Fox logo, singing Alfred Newman’s famous Fox fanfare as only Ralph Wiggum can, we somehow know that for the next hour-and-a-half, we will be comfortably numb with the kind of perpetual face-ache that comes from constantly smiling. It is a feeling less expensive and much safer than drugs, and if you can ignore the occasional fear that there might be something wrong with your liver for seeing so much (crisply animated) yellow in your field of vision, this trip to Springfield — wherever in the country it is — is well worth the time and effort.•••
NOTE: Matt Groening’s other animated series, “Futurama” (1999-2003) has just seen its first new episode in the form of the feature-length Futurama: Bender’s Big Score. It is the planned first of four direct-to-DVD features, and fans of the surly alcoholic robot and his freakish future friends are sure to love it (be sure to check out the fantastic “Futurama” math lecture that is included). Greenies will be happy to know that the film is 20th Century Fox’s first “carbon neutral” release, a zero carbon emissions brought about by balancing the amount of carbon released with the amount sequestered.
22 - THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM
(released December 11)
Bourne! You rascally spy! The late Robert Ludlum’s best-known creation, the unstoppable amnesiac government operative on a mission as personally essential as fugitive Richard Kimble’s, returns in this third high-octane espionage thriller. The plot is pretty light, but director Paul Greengrass (United 93) does a great job at creating a sense of urgency with some really superb globetrotting action sequences. Studio Universal has created a three-movie set, The Jason Bourne Collection, featuring The Bourne Identity (2002), The Bourne Supremacy (2004) and The Bourne Ultimatum (2007). A previous version of The Bourne Identity made for TV in 1988 and starring Richard Chamberlain and Jaclyn Smith is available on-the-cheap, as is the 1997 clunker, The Apocalypse Watch. Fox made an appropriate pairing of Ludlum and way-manly Sam Peckinpah (in the director’s last film) in 1983’s The Osterman Weekend starring Rutger Hauer, and in 1986 Michael Caine starred in a decent adaptation of The Holcroft Covenant. Anyone worried that Bourne has seen his last day of action since Ludlum’s death in 2001 needn’t worry – author Eric Lustbader has two Bourne novels to his name so far, and two more non-Bourne spy novels – The Chancellor Manuscript and The Sigma Protocol – are in early production.
23 - THE BOSTON RED SOX 2007 WORLD SERIES EDITION (released December 11)
It’s fantastic that you’re out of the coma. Now you can catch up on the important things, like physical therapy, suing the hospital and catching up on the Red Sox (who won the World Series again this year). The 8-disc set features games 5, 6 and 7 of the American League Championship Series against the Cleveland Indians and the 4-game World Series sweep of the Colorado Rockies. There’s also the clubhouse celebration, the 2007 World Series Trophy and MVP presentation, the American League Eastern Division and ALDS clinching highlights, team interviews, 2007 season highlights, Kevin Youklis’s inside-the-park homer, the last out of Clay Buchholz’s no-hitter and David Ortiz’s walk-off home run. (And a partridge in a pear tree!) For those of you who have been making the life support machines go “ping!” for more than three years, you may want to pick up The Boston Red Sox 2004 World Series Collectors Edition. It features the 4-game World Series sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals, plus the full 7-game ALCS against the New York Yankees in which Boston played possum for three games and then proceeded to punish its longtime rivals as would the master of a dog who soiled the new berber.
24 - BLADE RUNNER (released December 18)
Ridley Scott has proven to be the kind of lifelong tinkerer, at least as far as his 1982 sci-fi classic goes. In the same way the George Lucas has revisited his original Star Wars trilogy to make so-called improvements, so has Scott refit his futuristic tale pretty regularly. The story, based on paranoid genius Philip K. Dick’s “Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?”, has L.A. cop Rick Deckard tracking down and “retiring” four Replicants, androids that are nearly indistinguishable from humans. Studio Warner Brothers has a number of different editions on tap – the 2-disc Final Cut featuring Scott’s latest version remastered in 5.1 plus the documentary, Dangerous Days; the 4-disc Limited Edition Collector’s Set contains this and three additional versions of the film, including the original U.S. version with Harrison Ford’s awkward pulp novel narration and the rare “work print” version. The 5-disc Ultimate Collector’s Edition features all this, an exclusive fifth disc with over 80 minutes of previously unseen deleted scenes, and collectibles like a Spinner car replica, a unicorn figurine, illustration and photo cards and a lenticular motion film clip in Lucite. It all comes packaged in a limited edition numbered “Deckard” briefcase (pictured at right). While there has never been an official sequel (though 1998’s “sidesequel” Soldier had some intended parallels), Scott this year revealed that he is considering a sequel of his own. Other noteworthy Dick adaptations include Paul Verhoeven’s Total Recall (1990), Steven Spielberg’s amped-up (but thematically faithful) Minority Report (2002) and Richard Linklater’s mind-blowing animated trip, A Scanner Darkly (2006).