MEET THE ROBINSONS [G]
 After 2005’s noisy Chicken Little, the next year’s dynamically dull The Wild and now this mixed bag effort, Disney is probably really glad that they brought super-slugging CGI animation house Pixar back into the fold. This overly visual adaptation of William Joyce’s children’s book, A Day With Wilbur Robinson, is a 21st-century retooling of a time-tested – and perhaps time-tired – formula. 12-year-old Lewis (voiced by Jordan Fry of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) is an orphan (with many Disney stories involving some kind of loss of one or both parents) whose scientific curiosity has prevented over 100 prospective adoptive families from taking him home. When Wilbur Robinson (Wesley Singerman), who claims to be from the future, tells Lewis that he must not give up on an invention that will be essential to the shape of things to come, his initial skepticism is dispelled when Wilbur actually takes him there. Director Stephen J. Robinson only takes us halfway there, though. While he and his team of five writers infuse the story with the kind of creative spirit that Walt founded the studio on eight decades ago, they seem to rest too much on that. Some of the characterizations have flavor, like the dim-witted villain, Bowler Hat Guy (Anderson) who is coached by an artificially intelligent runaway invention disguised as a bowler hat (yes, really). There is a whole Back To The Future causality chain that gets increasingly more illogical with every pass, which is why it is so nice that there is at least some semblance of humanity for Anderson and company to fall back on. The whole Wizard Of Oz, “a family is what you make it” vibe may be that safe fallback, but they do spend enough time developing it to get some sense as to what Lewis has to go home to and begin. The 3-D (in select theaters) pops, though, even if the story does not have a similar kind of depth. –Robert Newton

TMNT [PG]
Write off this fourth Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie as strictly for the kids if you will, but to do so is a disservice to the people who not only created it, but also the fans who kept it alive for so long. Considering that the franchise has been around since 1984, many kids who grew up on it now have kids of their own, a fact of which writer-director Kevin Munroe is fully aware. With a keen respect for the world that evolved from what was meant to be a one-time superhero parody comic by Northampton, Mass. artists Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, Munroe gives fans the closest thing to their vision since the movies and television series began in 1987. With this tale of apocalyptic doom, he creates four distinct personalities in these half-shell heroes and creates situations that bring out those traits that make them clash with each other, and those that make them so great together. Visually, the movie is a bit too dark, and while the CGI is pretty photorealistic, Hong Kong animation studio Imagi attempts to pack more detail into every frame than their computers can render effectively. Still, Munroe shows he is no mercenary, selling his passion for what at first glance might be just greasy kids’ stuff or mock turtle soup. –Robert Newton

BLADES OF GLORY [PG-13]
Directors Will Speck and Josh Gordon, who, believe it or not, were nominated for an Oscar for their 1998 short film, Culture, take a great concept for a 5-minute SNL skit — a feuding male/male figure skating pair — and proceed to stuff it into a full-length movie. The result is very hit-or-miss, though the one element that makes it at least worth half-recommending is Will Ferrell (Talladega Nights) as an oxymoronic, badass figure skater ousted for life from competitive skating. Ferrell can do larger-than-life characters life like these in his sleep, but when he is off-screen, time drags. The criminally irritating Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite), as his classically trained new partner, has the greater character arc but is nowhere near as entertaining as watching Ferrell effortlessly chew the scenery while spouting off his improvised non-sequiturs. There is a plot somewhere in the mix by first-timers Craig Cox, Jeff Cox & Busy Philipps, but a coherent narrative is secondary to the comedic set pieces, including a forgettable and unfunny romance between Heder and Jenna Fischer of “The Office.” Ferrell does bring the belly laughs, though, and it is hard to deny that the film is occasionally brutally funny. A stalker played by Nick Swarsdon (Reno 911!: Miami) provides some great dark humor, but he is the only one that can crawl out beneath the fearsome Zamboni machine that is Ferrell’s comedic shadow. –Matt Hoenigsberg

GOD GREW TIRED OF US [PG]
Call it life, simplified. The “Lost Boys of Sudan,” African survivors of an attempted genocide in the 1980s, have had to make do with having but one thing — their lives. With even the hope of seeing their families again a murky one, they walked a thousand miles and lived for a decade in various refugee camps. Some of them found new lives in various cities the United States, and this surprisingly affecting documentary from National Geographic Films tells the simple, staggering stories of a few of them. The few Gods Must Be Crazy moments when these young men first experience flush toilets and American supermarkets nicely contrast the latent despair that being adrift in the world brings, though fate deals directors Christopher Dillon Quinn and Tommy Walker a most fortunate hand with an emotional climax that even the best writer could not have devised. –Robert Newton

THE LIVES OF OTHERS [R]
2006’s Oscar-winning Best Foreign Language Film is certainly worthy of the title, a sleek and moody slow burn of a thriller. Forged in the mold of Coppola’s The Conversation, it takes high-paranoia to new heights, casting a keen eye (and ear) on the state of human affairs in Communist East Berlin, four years before the life of the Wall — and Lenin’s 72-year game of Simon Says across Eastern Europe — ended in 1989. Like the complex puppet show of fate that was Amélie — only with no humor and a higher body count — Stasi officer Wiesler (Ulrich Mühe of Amen) secretly interferes in the lives of a writer (Sebastian Koch of Gloomy Sunday) and his girlfriend (Martina Gedeck of The Good Shepherd) that he, by State mandate, is supposed to be monitoring. Young writer-director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck paints with a lot of subtle detail, and is commendable in his transformation of the cold and creepy Wiesler into a sympathetic character. Internet music fiends can download Gabriel Yared’s and Stéphane Mucha’s wonderfully eerie, string-heavy score for less than $3.00 by clicking the cover on the left (or first-time users of eMusic.com can get it free). To become a major motion picture from MGM, which has optioned the American remake rights. –Robert Newton

REIGN OVER ME [R]
Anyone expecting professional coattail rider Rob Schneider to show up in SNL buddy Adam Sandler’s latest to shout his trademark “You can do it!” is going to be disappointed. What Sandler can do, though, is transition from his career-founding idiot fare to more high-minded projects like Punch-Drunk Love, Spanglish and now this smart dramatic comedy from The Upside Of Anger writer-director Mike Binder. Sandler plays a 9/11 widower who learns to confront his grief after meeting his old college roommate, a complacent dentist played by Don Cheadle (Hotel Rwanda), and while Oscar may not call this time out, he does show some versatility here, playing his anguished survivor with more than just quirky affectation. Binder balances his story with Cheadle’s mundane home life and chaotic existence at work, where an unbalanced patient (Saffron Burrows) forms an unhealthy fixation. Robert Klein and Melinda Dillon are a nice addition as Sandler’s grieving in-laws, helping prevent Binder from resorting to the manipulative tricks that a less talented storyteller might employ. –Robert Newton

THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 [R]

Having been written by Wes Craven and his son, Jonathan, one would think that maybe — just maybe — the sequel to the 2006 remake of the elder Craven’s 1977 cult classic would not be the total travesty everyone feared, and perhaps unfairly, would become. A group of dysfunctional National Guard trainees encounter that meddling brood of kill-hungry mutants in the New Mexico desert, where these soldiers of misfortune — wannabe Rambos all — are dispatched in sick, bone-crunching ways. The largely unknown cast traipses through each scene with embarrassing results. Characters are one-dimensional at best, and everyone who, by the end, is to survive the carnage can easily be spotted within the first 20 seconds of their first appearance. Painfully green German music video director Martin Weisz’s direction is predictable and dreary, and he really offers horror fans nothing new here. One bright spot is the outstanding makeup by Oscar winning FX masters KNB, with enough gore to sate even the most avid gorehound. Unfortunately, though, this is like putting a dress on a pig (because after all it is still a pig in a dress), as this lazy and clueless cash-grab adds up to the worst horror film of the year so far. –Richard Caron

Use the Post, Luke!
USPS and George Lucas join Forces in celebration
By Robert Newton

R2-D2, where are you? Standing on the corner, watching all the cars go by, that’s where. On March 16th, striking facsimiles of the diminutive, iconic droid from George Lucas’s pair of Star Wars trilogies started supplanting a select number of the familiar blue United States Postal Service collection boxes nationwide. The fully functional mailboxes are tagged with a URL — www.uspsjedimaster.com — which, when visited, suggested a Very Big Announcement coming on March 28th. That was yesterday, when the fully autonomous government agency announced a campaign of Hutt-like proportions, including 15 stamps commemorating the 30th anniversary of the 1977 release of the first Star Wars movie.

“Star Wars fans everywhere will delight in the issuance of these exciting new postage stamps,” said David Failor, executive director of Stamp Services. “Because of the movies’ popularity, we believe these stamps have the potential of reaching the blockbuster status of the Elvis stamp, a milestone only the Force would attempt to surpass.”

The announcement of the new 41-cent stamps, which reflect the May 14th First Class rate increase, came at a distinctly Hollywood place — Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles, where the movie first opened. The official release, however, will come at the first-day-of-issue ceremony on Friday, May 25th at, appropriately, the massive fan convergence that is Star Wars Celebration IV at the L.A. Convention Center. The stamps will also go on sale to the public that day. An online balloting similar to the Elvis stamp campaign will also take place until then, with the winning stamp to be made available in single sheets come May 25th.

“The Star Wars films have timeless qualities that cross generations,” said Failor, who made the announcement of the new Star Wars stamps flanked by R2-D2, Darth Vader and Howard Roffman, president of Lucas Licensing. While connecting the two entities in such a way may seem a bit, umm…forced, the comparison is a valid one, as is the choice of ambassadors. Considering that R2-D2 carried a vital message for the rebel Princess Leia — and delivered it through the cold vastness of space and over a harsh desert (not to mention through the middle of a galactic war) — the thought of entrusting the adorable mute servant with the U.S. mail is a natural.

Adding to the excitement is The Jedi Shipping and Mailing Challenge, a six-week sweepstakes in which visitors to www.uspsjedimaster.com can earn up to six entries to win an all-expenses-paid trip to Star Wars Celebration IV in Los Angeles in May.•••

2008 - 30th anniversary of the jaw-droppingly awful “Star Wars Holiday Special,” which aired on CBS just once during the Thanksgiving holiday in 1978. It is rumored that George Lucas, with the money he has made since, will build a time machine and prevent himself from ever agreeing to the hideous Wookiee love fest in the first place.

2009 - 10th anniversary of the monumentally ill-conceived first prequel, The Phantom Menace, when millions of disillusioned fans the world over plan to cry to the heavens, like all the Whos down in Whoville, “Meesa wants my childhood back!”, then scramble to purchase DVD’s of the re-cut The Phantom Menace: The Version With A Lot Less Jar-Jar Binks That Doesn’t Suck So Much.

2010 - 33 1/3 anniversary of Star Wars, when Lucas will reportedly issue Wicked Extra Super Limited Special Edition soundtracks on vinyl, made from unsold Howard the Duck action figures, saving an entire landfill that can be used for unsold Phantom Menace action figures. The records will be free, but will be coded in a proprietary format that will only be played on a Lucas-produced tabletop player…which will cost $1,138.00.

MENDY [NR]
The most captivating quality of religion is that it is completely open to personal interpretation. Writer-director Adam Vardy’s film, based around the life of co-writer Heshey Schnitzler, benefits from a similar theological ambiguity. In a similar vein as the 2002 documentary Devil’s Playground, Vardy tells the tale of Mendy (Jonathan Hova), a young Hassidic Jew on a journey from the insular religious community in which he was raised to the secular streets of Manhattan. He shares his new experiences with a former childhood friend, Yankel (Spencer Chandler), and his Brazilian roommate Bianca (Gabriela Dias) whose differing views serve to direct and shape his evolution. The Jewish religion is one of piety and devotion but it is not an easy path, and Mendy must find a union with his heart and mind before either can bring him true happiness. “The [devout] way of life is so nice and clear,” Mendy says to Yankel near the end of the film. “Life has a goal, you know what you’re living for, who you are living for, what you need to do. Life is simple…but this gentile life is unbearable. Everyone does as they please. They don’t know what they’re doing here on this Earth.” Those unfamiliar with the Jewish religion might find all this engaging but simultaneously confusing. Though the film takes an extremely black-and-white view of the world, it is both thought provoking and honest; while it will not change any of the answers, it should certainly serve to amend some the questions. –Gregory Johnson

GOING TO PIECES [R]
While it may not dig as deep as IFC’s spot-on doc The American Nightmare — and credit that shortfall with the fact that the film does not have an actual director — this look back at the American slasher film, post-Psycho genesis, is still a wealth of information and great clips a-plenty. With interviews with genre fanboy gods like Sean S. Cunningham (Friday the 13th), Wes Craven (A Nightmare On Elm Street) and John Carpenter (Halloween), it charts the rise and fall of the critically maligned horror niche. To its credit, it explores the post-video explosion revival sparked by Wes Craven’s 1996 smash, Scream, though relative new kids like rocker Rob Zombie (House of 1000 Corpses) are presented matter-of-factly and not put into much context beyond their celebrity. Based on the book by Adam Rockoff. –Robert Newton

ALWAYS WILL [PG]
Like an understated, low-budget Back To The Future, this family-friendly fantasy is about a boy named Will (newcomer Andrew Baglini) who discovers that the school time capsule that he and two of his friends stole when they were younger has the ability to send him back, somewhere in time of his own choosing. Will goes from zero to hero, as he is able to re-fashion every turning point in his life, Groundhog Day style. First-time writer-director Michael Sammaciccia presents an unpretentious and thoughtful look at the question that everyone entertains — “What if I could do it all over again?” In his believable, matter-of-fact world, actions have consequences, power does not solve all problems and all lives are interconnected. The movie’s charm more than makes up for the novice cast, and though Baglini looks a little young to play a high school senior, he does a fine job helping Sammaciccia make every second of this heartfelt “what if” count. –Robert Newton

WONDROUS OBLIVION [PG]
Set in England during the 1960s, this family-friendly race drama follows the social awakening of 11-year-old David (Sam Smith), a cricket-obsessed Jewish boy who unwittingly gets caught up in racial tensions when he befriends his new Jamaican neighbor (Delroy Lindo), a former cricket star. Overall, the film is a bit underdeveloped, though writer-director Paul Morrison (Solomon & Gaenor) juggles his multiple story lines well enough to keep things mildly interesting. Smith, who played the lead in PBS’s fantastic 1999 adaptation of Oliver Twist, plays the eager young cricket dork well, and is a strong reminder of the innocence of youth, even if his counterpart (and UK native) Lindo (Sahara) underplays his mentor some. For parents, the film is a safe way to discuss issues of race relations, and for the children of retired parents, it can serve the same purpose, too, especially when everyone involved can bond over the whole “What the heck is cricket all about?” question. –Robert Newton

CHILDREN OF MEN [R]
Clive Owen and Julianne Moore try to save an infertile human race from extinction in Alfonso Cuarón very smart adaptation of the P.D. James novel.

THE CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER [R]
Hero and House of Flying Daggers director Zhang Yimou amps up the action again in this middling epic starring Chow Yun-Fat and Gong Li.

HAPPY FEET [PG]
The Oscar winner for Best Animated Feature, about a mild-mannered penguin (mild-mannered Elijah Wood) who finds his true voice, will surely become, after repeat viewings by kids, parents’ Worst Gift.

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS [PG-13]
Will Smith may have not won the Oscar for his portrayal of a Biblically down-on-his-luck dad in this warm drama, but at least now, audiences can weep openly while watching, without fear of being beat up.

VAN WILDER 2: THE RISE OF TAJ [R/NR]
The Kal Penn who starred in this and Epic Movie — two of the worst comedies of recent years — must be the evil twin of the Kal Penn who stars in the Very Serious Film, The Namesake, because he’s good in that.

Ability to scope
A review of Antoine Fuqua’s thriller Shooter
By Robert Newton

SHOOTER

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Michael Peña and Kate Mara; Written by Jonathan Lemkin; Based on the novel by Stephen Hunter; Directed by Antoine Fuqua; Rated R [for strong graphic violence and some language]

Like some sort of cultural barometer, it is easy to tell whether or not a country is mired in the muck when it starts producing entertainment about being mired in the muck. Case in point is this conspiratorial thriller, the latest from Training Day director Antoine Fuqua. Based on the novel Point of Impact by Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic Stephen Hunter, the story focuses on the disillusioned, self-exiled former government sniper, Bob Lee Swagger, called up by a scary, non-existent government agency to help prevent a planned assassination of the President. His sense of duty exceeds his ability to smell something foul, and soon, he is on the run, accused of someone else’s heinous misdeed.

Fuqua has fashioned a lean and sensible thriller here. In the lead role is Oscar-nominated Boston boy Mark Wahlberg (The Departed), who is all-around solid as the resourceful gunny. The role is extremely physically demanding, and Wahlberg does a lot of his own stunts. Veterans Ned Beatty, Danny Glover and Elias Koteas are all suitably sinister as the shadow men, with Kate Mara (We Are Marshall) not content to play the widow of Swagger’s partner as just uninvolved window dressing.

Fuqua and screenwriter Jonathan Lemkin (The Devil’s Advocate) peel away the layers and take us right along with Swagger into the heart of a conspiracy, also taking some sharp shots, à la Why We Fight, at war businessmen the world over. They take a tense, paranoid vibe and pair it with some smartly metered action sequences, resulting in the best movie of its sort since Tony Scott’s Enemy of the State (1998). Fuqua captures this best in one near-brilliant revelatory scene in which a mysterious fellow shooter, played to synchronistic perfection by former Band member Levon Helm, lays it all out for Swagger. In the end, Fuqua’s furious film is the unyielding sequel to The Fugitive that U.S. Marshals should have been, a thoughtful and entertaining popcorn movie that answers every question with two more of its own. This makes it fertile ground for studio Paramount to develop into a Bourne-caliber franchise, especially considering that Hunter has already penned two other Swagger books, with a fourth coming this fall — on September 11, actually — at the same time that the Shooter DVD will be on the bestseller list.•••